Goodnight Ladies

After I came home from math tonight - can I just please advise you to never take a 3 hour math class at night - my mom offered me some Indian food for dinner and I declined. She got upset saying how skinny I've been looking lately so just to get her off my back, I indulged in 1 egg white and 1 whole egg and scrambled them together, and had a piece of toast with it. So my dinner was basically like 200 calories, maybe a little more. 

All I want is to be skinny, beautiful, successful... I mean this is what everyone wants, but it's what I literally need to be happy. It kills me to know that I won't be fully happy until I reach my goal, and how much pain and self control it will take to get there. 

Deep dark secret #1: I have TERRIBLE trust issues. I always go through my boyfriend's browsing history on his computer because he promised me he wouldn't watch porn anymore, so I like to make sure he'snot, and I always see him looking at other girls on facebook, that are like totally skinny and tan and gorgeous, and it kills me inside. I know that as soon as I reach my goal, I will have so much more confidence and won't give a fuck. 

I would really like for once to just know I am perfect and not give a fuck about anyone else, because everyone wants to be me. 

Sorry for the depressing post. I just had to get some shit off my chest. 

Love you all.

xx

Oh and one more thing, 

every picture I put on my blog was taken by yours truly ;)